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by Ava Heatley

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it's too hot in here
everyone's dressed better than me
i've got a lukewarm beer
i'm nervous, i'm tired, i'm fucking hungry
i'd like to go to sleep
or just sink right into the floor
but i don't think i wanna be at this party anymore

i don't wanna talk
or look you in the eye
i'm going for a walk
i'll see you back inside
god knows where i'd rather be
or what i'm looking for
but i don't think i wanna be at this party anymore

tell me what i want, i'd like to know
when will i be come the girl they think they know?

i try to do
what i'm supposed to
but there are few
moments i break through
like when i can't breathe or think or see
and i don't know what for
i just don't wanna be
i can't really ever be
why is it so hard for me
to be at this party anymore?


released October 11, 2019


all rights reserved



Ava Heatley New York

singer-songwriter, hypochondriac, lactose-intolerant. not in that order.

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